Judith Hill, author of three award winning books presented a wonderfully entertaining and informative lecture about keeping our heros masculine. Judith started out by saying she'd rather refer to it as "not feminizing" the men in our books, and by providing the disclaimer, "This is only my opinion!" Judith's platform was this: men and women are different and we tend to react to each other according to these differences. When this applies to our writing, PERCEPTION IS EVERYTHING! The difference between a good novel and a great novel comes down to the subconscious image we plant in the minds of our readers through the crafting of our words.
Some basic differences between men and women are as follows:
**Men are hierarchical. They are ever concerned with where they stand in the order of things.
**Men constantly vie for position. Contrary to popular belief, men are more concerned with what other men think than with what women think.
**Men and women are physiologically different. In the course of a given day, a woman will utter 7,000 words whereas a man uses merely 2,000. Woman possess more brain matter than men. The part we have that they don't accounts for the disparity in language patterns.
**Anthropologically, men protect the women and women protect the children. (We may have come a long way, baby, but some instincts linger.)
Judith described five ways men differ from women in real life, and thus should differ in
our writing, easily remembered by the word, SMART:
Speech
Motivation
Action
Reaction
Thought
Speech
1. Men don't have a lot of inner dialogue. If your hero is engaging in such, your writing won't ring true.
2. Men speak directly. Women use the phrases, "I could, I would, I may" etc., but men generally do not.
3. Men and women use different phraseology. "Do you think that maybe..." is a decidedly female way of speaking.
4. Men have a hard time apologizing and rarely admit fault or defeat. (Okay, this one's not a surprise!)
5. Men don't make disclaiming or self-depreciating statements. "This might be way off base, but..." isn't something you'd often hear from a man. Remember, they have to cram a whole day's communication into 2,000 words!
6. Men don't end statements with questions, you know what I mean?
7. Men don't use expressive adjectives. Although this would vary if your hero was in the creative arts, men don't describe things using words like floral, petite, or diminutive.
8. Men don't use euphemisms. They call things what they are called.
9. Men use less words, as we've already discussed.
10. Men's humor tends to be cruder than women's.
11. "Romantic" holds different connotations for men and women.
Motivation
1. Men tend to classify everything into three categories:
A. Work
B. Sex
C. Sports
Women, on the other hand, have numerous categories. An applicable and humorous example given by Judith was this: An attractive woman walking down the street smiles and says hello to a man. Her motivation is friendliness, courtesy. The man thinks, "Hmmm. I don't work with her. We're not playing sports of any kind. SHE WANTS ME!"
2. Men are problem-solvers. Women are consolers. Women enjoy talking about problems, sharing experiences whereas men focus on the problem and simply want to solve it without unnecessary talk.
3. The stronger the woman, the stronger the man. A good tip to remember for characterization.
Action
1. 95% of communication is non-verbal, so pay attention to your hero's body language and make sure it mirrors who he is.
2. Men show authority by their actions. They interrupt, talk more than the other person and in a louder voice. They sit while others stand. They lean back in their chairs. They gesture expansively. All of these show authority. Subordinates fidget and use small gestures. They lean forward, nod in agreement, and don't make eye contact. Women who cross and uncross their legs, play with their hair, or sit rigidly with legs together and hands in lap show a lack of authority.
3. Men don't sigh.
4. Timidness in a man could be indicated with rounded shoulders and clasped hands.
5. Arms folded across the chest show either resistance or incredible confidence. Which
effect you're trying to achieve should be contextually clear to the reader.
Nearly all inner-felt emotions in men--fear, depression, guilt, frustration--are expressed outwardly as anger.
2. Men are "take charge." This goes back to the problem-solving. Women react to a problem by discussing it, analyzing it. Men just want to solve it.
Thought
1. Men don't participate in a lot of self-examination or self-doubt.
2. Similar to not speaking a lot of words, men don't think a lot of words. Save the inner dialogue for your heroine.
Be aware of what your putting into the minds of your readers, consciously and
subconsciously. A man shouldn't fall on his "derriere." His "rigid
manhood" shouldn't "plop" out of his pants. Use your words to draw the
appropriate picture for your readers.
Remember, also, that the readers will accept and even love a "bad-boy" hero, an Alpha male, as long as they can accept his motivations. A "dark" hero should be mysterious rather than evil. Brooding, tortured, enigmatic. When a hero's bad behavior comes from pain, honor, duty, or loyalty, a reader will forgive his sins. Avoid making your men whiny, however. Don't take your readers to the point where they think, "Okay, fine, GET OVER IT."
In conclusion, be S-M-A-R-T when creating the men in your book. Have a man critique your writing. If he would react as your hero is reacting, you've most likely succeeded keeping your man masculine
Originally printed in Romance In The Rockies, August '95 issue.
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